


McKirk McDrabbles

by WeWillSpockYou



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-08
Updated: 2015-01-22
Packaged: 2018-01-15 00:43:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 66
Words: 13,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1284874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeWillSpockYou/pseuds/WeWillSpockYou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a collection of short Tumblr McKirk drabbles all in one place! </p><p>Please come visit! http://wewillspockyou.tumblr.com/</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Bones and Jim on a bowling team Jim has named Bones’ Balls…

Keep your mind out of the gutter, kid.

If only you could do that with your balls, Bonesy!


	2. Chapter 2

Jim is leaning up against the sink in Bones’ dorm eating ice cream out of the container with his fingers.

“Get your fingers outta my ice cream kid, who the hell knows where they’ve been.”

Swiping his fingers through the container again, Jim holds his fingers up to Leo’s mouth. “You know exactly where they have been Bones….”


	3. Chapter 3

Bones is in a pissy mood because Jim has dragged him into the mall to go clothes shopping.  Jim is grabbing new jeans and stacks of plaid shirts for Bones to try on. Bones is protesting, “What’s wrong with what I have on now?”

Jim laughs and says, “Those pants are older than I am, Bones!” Propelling Leo toward the fitting room, Jim says, “In we go, Bones.”

"Get the hell out of here, kid, I can dress myself." Bones mumbles as Jim pushes into the fitting room with Leo.

"Nope, don’t trust ya Bonesy! If I leave you’re gonna shuffle things around and pretend to try stuff on, then say nothin’ fits." Jim stood in front of Bones, eye to eye, and started undoing the button of Bones’ pants.

"Whoa, hold on there cowboy, what in hell do you think you’re doing? It’s laundry day and I had to go commando"

Jim gives Bones the sexiest damn smirk he has ever seen in his life and thinks he’s gonna have a heart attack as Jim sinks slowly to his knees, taking Leo’s zipper down as he goes…


	4. Chapter 4

 

Bones and Jim are playing football one afternoon with a bunch of other second year cadets. Jim, of course is the golden-haired quarterback, calling out plays and throwing perfect spiral passes, laughing and patting his teammates asses when they catch his throws. Bones can’t help but notice the way the sunshine seems dim compared to the light given off by Jim who is obviously in his element here. 

"Bones," Jim says, slinging an arm around Leo’s middle, "You’re goin long on this play, right into the end zone."

"Dammit Jim, I’m a doctor, not a tight end." Bones grumbled.

Slapping Bones hard on the ass, Jim smiles brilliantly and says, “Coulda fooled me, Bonesy!”

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Superhero**

"Hi Bones," Jim said as Leo walked through the door.

"Hey Jim."

"You up for a movie?"

"Sure, whatcha have in mind?"

"Batman."

"Aw Jim, you know I hate superhero movies."

"Why?"

"Dead parents, unrealistic powers to save lives, gorgeous love interests…"

"Seems to me Bones like you fit that bill."

"I’m sorry, what now?"

"Face it Bones, you’re a superhero."

"Kid have you been into my bourbon again? Let me grab my-"

"Haven’t gotten into the booze, Dr. Crabbypants. But you have to admit, the resemblance is uncanny."

"What resemblance Jim?"

"Sorry Bones, but you have lost both parents, your legendary hands save lives everyday…you give people back to their families, that’s a pretty amazing power in my book."

"You’re forgettin the gorgeous love interest."

"Nah Bones, I’m sitting right here."

For once, the good doctor was at a loss for words.

 


	6. Chapter 6

Jim is a BIG proponent of naked time! Not naked time in terms of sex, although THAT is surely welcome. Jim comes home from class and gets naked. He's not a nudist, per say, but he enjoys walking around with no clothes on and if Bones happens to notice, so much the better!

"Dammit Jim, put somethin on, this isn't happy hour an you're not Magic Mike."

"Now that's where you're wrong Bones."

It happens two or times a week, Leo comes home from class or a shift at the hospital and there's Jim, totally naked, PADD in one hand, studying. It gets so Leo is actually disappointed to come home and find Jim dressed. 

"Hey Bones, how was class today?"

"What're you doin dressed, kid?" 

"Didn't think you'd notice Bones."

Bones comes home one morning after a long shift at the hospital and there's Jim in his birthday suit, eating an apple.

"Dammit Jim, it's 3am, what're you still doin up?"

"You're late back from shift, I was worried about you, old man."

"You pullin my leg, kid?"

"Can't you're still dressed."

"You flirtin with me, Jim?"

"For the last three years Bones, why the hell d'ya think I'm naked all the time?"


	7. Chapter 7

**Buccaneer and Bones**

My father LOVES fishing shows on the Outdoor channel. I was walking through the living room when the announcer said, “Coming up next is Buccaneer and Bones.”

OMG, fellow McKirkers!!! I am seeing visions of a Jim and Bones AU where they host a fishing show! Jim knows a lot about fishing, one of the losers, erm…guys that his mom dated loved to fish and taught Jim all about it. Bones surprisingly knows nothing about fishing, but has plenty to say none the less! 

"Reel it in Bones, c’mon, let’s see! What kind of fish is it?"

"It’s a Jim fish."

"No Bones, it’s a large-mouthed bass."

"Exactly."


	8. Chapter 8

Imagine Jim and Bones lying together on the floor of the Enterprise's Observation Lounge while she sits on the ocean floor on Nibiru. Ordinarily they lie together staring at the stars as Jim points out far off constellations and makes up crazy stories about how each one got its name. Now Bones is making up names for each fish that swims by and telling funny stories to Jim about what each fish is doing. "See that fish there, the blue one? Her name is Stella and she loves Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain!"


	9. Chapter 9

Joanna likes Pretty Pink Ponies. Jim drives all over town looking for this elusive toy for her sixth birthday. The first three stores are sold out and Jim is feeling desperate. He remembers the superhero toy he wanted for his sixth birthday, remembered feeling invisible when he unwrapped new coloring books instead. He wasn't a baby after all.

FINALLY, the fifth store Jim went to had Pretty Pink Ponies. Twenty minutes later Jim walked out with every last Pony and accessory in stock. Bones was going to swear a blue streak about spoiling Joanna and giving her a sense of entitlement, but Jim didn't care. Joanna would never feel invisible when he was around.


	10. Chapter 10

It took an hour to build. The house was in shambles; cabinet doors left open, contents of the linen closet spilling on to the floor, bed linens half on and half off their respective beds, there was not an extra pillow to be found anywhere. Jim and Joanna were cuddled together in the middle of a nest of pillows in the center of the fort. Joanna was dressed like a princess, Jim was wearing her tiara.The lights were off in her bedroom and Jim was reading Fox in Socks by flashlight. 

"...they call this a muddle puddle tweetle poodle beetle noodle bottle paddle battle."

Joanna giggled her pitched, little girl laugh. "Again,again!"

Bones, standing outside the fort, still dressed for work took a deep breath, followed his daughter's command and fell in love with Jim Kirk all over again.


	11. Chapter 11

**Fever**

Bones was frantic. He’s stood in the pharmacy line waiting to fill Joanna’s script. He’s a doctor, DAMMIT, why is it taking so long? Why aren’t there more people on staff at 2am? Why hadn’t he checked in his med bag for supplies BEFORE he left the hospital tonight? And OH FUCK, why did he think it was a good idea to leave his feverish infant home with Jim Kirk? He’d gone and lost his peach-bred mind for sure.

Prescription in hand Bones flew home. He’s never driven this fast before, wasn’t even sure the car could go faster than the numbers on the odometer. The house was quiet and dark.”JIM?” Not in the kitchen or den, dammmit. “JIIIIM?” Not downstairs at all. Maybe Joanna’s fever spiked and Jim had to race her to the hospital?

Bones ran up the stairs, taking them three at a time. “JIM?” Not seeing them in nursery, Bones ran into their bedroom and came to a crashing halt when he heard singing and running water. 

"Row, row, row, your boat, gently down the stream."

Bones opened the door and saw Jim wearing only his boxers, standing under the spray of the shower cuddling a diaper-clad Joanna. “Jim?”

"Her fever spiked and you said to bring her in the shower to lower it again." Joanna began to fuss.

"Row, row, row, your boat, gently down the stream."

What had Bones been thinking to leave his feverish infant home with Jim Kirk? 

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Baby**

The baby boy had blonde hair.

George

David

He had 10 perfect fingers and 10 perfect toes.

Nathan

Jacob

He sounded like a lost kitten when he cried in his sleep.

Matthew

Patrick

He had a tiny birthmark on the top of his left foot.

Our son

Our son

"God, he’s perfect, isn’t he Jim."

"Just like his fathers Bones."


	13. Chapter 13

Daddy Daughter Dance

Bones was late. It wasn't his fault the routine surgery went wrong, then long, but try explaining that to a five year old on the most important day of her life. Bones finally found a place to park, near a mud puddle, of course and he took off running for the auditorium. 

The dance was already underway when he ran in, panting and out of breath. On stage was the most incredible thing he had ever seen, identical glittery purple tutus, matching tiaras and magic wands. The dancers moved in sync with each other and to the music. The smiles on their faces lit up the room. The music built to its dramatic climax as the dancers moved into position for the most difficult part of the routine. The larger of the two lifted the smaller dancer into the air and cries of "Daddy! Daddy's here!" could be heard from the stage.

"Ladies and gentlemen, please put your hands together for Joanna and Jim Kirk-McCoy dancing to Somewhere Over The Rainbow."


	14. Chapter 14

**Puppy!**

From: theangelgabrieldidmyhair 

Prompt: jim and joanna get a st bernard dog on impulse and then try (unsuccessfully) to hide her from bones

"He’s just a little puppy Jo-Jo, how mad can your Daddy get?"

"Have you met my father Uncle Jim?"

Jim Kirk was going to die.

"Let’s hide him in your room Jo!"

"No, let’s hide him in the garage, Daddy only goes in there on trash day!"

The puppy howled.

"Not the garage." They answered in unison.

"The bathtub!

"Under the couch!"

"In the bread drawer!"

"Linen closet."

"Laundry room!"

"In Daddy’s arms!"

"Jo that’s the worst idea ever, we’re trying to hide the dog, not-"

"Oh please do continue instructing my daughter in the proper methods of lying to her father." Bones winked at Joanna behind Jim’s back.

Yup, Jim Kirk was going to die.

 


	15. Chapter 15

**Surprise?**

From: iseult1124

Prompt: Jim & Jo try to make something for Bones as a surprise (Father’s Day? His Birthday?) and make an absolute mess instead!

"How about turtle brownies, Jo?"

"Turtles? Don’t be silly Papa Jim, Daddy doesn’t like turtles. An the shells would make ‘um crunchy, brownies aren’ s’possed to be crunchy"

"Good point, crunchy brownies are OUT!" 

"Okay Jo, this one is called Quick and Easy Brownies."

"What could go wrong Papa Jim?"

"We need two cups of white sugar. Jo go get me your Snow White cup."

"Next is one cup of butter. I guess a wine glass will do in a pinch."

"Baking powder? Honey, grab your powder from the bathroom!"

"Vanilla extract? What’s that, pudding?" 

"One and a half cups of flour? Must be a typo! Jo run outside and pick some of Daddy’s tulips, any color you like."

Two hours later when Bones came home from the hospital he found his husband, daughter and house looking like they’d survived the apocalypse. 

Surprise Daddy!! We bought you a cake!!!!


	16. Chapter 16

**Driving**

From: justahiddlestonedpinenut

Prompt: Jo telling Jim she likes him because her daddy’s happy when he’s with Jim. And/or telling bones the same. :)

"You smile too much." 

"No I don’t, YOU smile too much, Uncle Jim."

"NO, YOU smile too much Joanna banana!"

"NO, YOU!"

"YOU, YOU, YOU."

"ME, ME, ME?"

"Why do you smile so much, Jo-Jo?"

"Cause bein around you makes my Daddy smile and seeing Daddy smile again makes me smile!"

"…Uncle Jim are you okay?"

"Yeah, Jo-Bear, just had something in my eyes."


	17. Chapter 17

**Red Alert**

From: [torchwood1701](http://mx.tumblr.com/wf/click?upn=pIzz484Lm-2Bk6KRmIm-2F61hE3K3cOAQrLWei1nghT-2BXQmIXaTDUJdRQBQtVI75xEj4H0cVEAMc-2F-2BOjNbdS1xYlgB-2BQhLvRhWZaV0k8jYpyfhOauBwh-2B2h4pUOooMI3kpsdnKlg-2BwbfKSiAFYuhSRykAHk2OSB-2Bc7dTMsfmITh-2FcPj-2Bja7mGGnBkBymX748XQ12_2XwY-2BWlaLb39Mzgk22V2GaKnQsVBMwSGugB3gBRODKBG7zsqOz3p-2FpoIHir-2BE-2Bz2XfXIe5D1jQLeVVFgpYM8HotKW1e7dWkr274Cqnq4ia3eqtMfMFYIrx4djm4ylOZyaZ1MG0ICjDeB7QUXB03wgk01rfnV3pbdMiAYObvMSQw69XUJmicZlIVurmkX6rp8Idf3FpceyabJ9cXI-2BMymcez1khbpi9knEkHgENkI49GDB0DcY2-2FSOrSXMCms5ftm)

Prompt: Jim, Joanna, and cupcakes.

The red alert siren began to wail. Leonard McCoy should be used to the sound by now, after all life aboard a starship was rarely dull. Today, the sound of the siren made is his blood run cold. Joanna was spending a few days on the Enterprise in order to celebrate her father’s 35th birthday. This was the one and only instance, as far as he was concerned, where being married to a starship captain came in handy. 

"Doctor McCoy report to the Officers’ Mess, Doctor McCoy." Uhura’s voice came over the ship wide channel. Bones grabbed a medkit from a stack in his office and ran to the turbolift.

By the time the lift arrived on the proper floor, the dammed siren has stopped blaring, but what was that smell? If Leonard McCoy were a betting man (and he wasn’t) he would have bet he was smelling smoke.

Bones was greeted in the mess by Joanna who was herself, a mess! She was covered in white powder but wore a dazzling smile. “Papa Jim set the ‘Nterprise on fire Daddy.”

Of course he did… "How is that even possible Jim?”

"We were making cupcakes for your birthday Bones."

Well that explained it. “So far as I’m aware Jim, and I’m not an expert, but an open flame is not usually involved in the process for making cupcakes.”

"Now you tell me!"

 


	18. Chapter 18

**In sickness...**

For: [ulrikavolf16](http://mx.tumblr.com/wf/click?upn=8JMJBpF-2FoXGqMGVsG-2FOaLJQHcvnXtSvrx5L49GDY9PJLAzZx-2BMMMFNSnRODHj9sMYw7Y-2FnQtPR2WeA-2B72S4FhoxNlSIjwJf0IdC74v4Jafy8Ts6K-2BYLBz4XQaHiNtvCMPoOUgAAayH-2B9zuAeSt9hzgDWbwb-2F9LIpjodab-2FBdZaw-3D_2XwY-2BWlaLb39Mzgk22V2GaKnQsVBMwSGugB3gBRODKAOSHM-2B-2BRaAZU74JlECQrWoWBWshQt51yGH17pykx-2Fy6B3MyK6S-2B0KreS6u-2FUjQli-2B44ohD1Ly3EB2LaWWPd94qcGvtu4D-2B8x0KMoWIH2tfNg80Q7n-2F0-2FlUr5wQu-2BhxxaXTb-2F8nnG8kpUdOMUUsPsc28uVav08EWZDwlTMpbVacfoxXSkej64N-2BgpE2ZaDy-2FKGHZPrVsFBPEu4FQYIcNMJX)

Prompt: Jim and Joanna get the flu, so that neither can go to work or school (respectively). So Bones stays home to take care of them. And Jo has it a lot worse than Jim, and Bones comforts her while she’s sick. And Jim just marveling at Bones being a dad.

 

Jim Kirk was sick. No, correct that, Jim Kirk was dying. It was just a lousy head cold, Bones had told him, several times now in fact, but Jim knew the real truth, saw the prognosis behind Bones’ tired hazel eyes: Jim’s days were numbered. 

Leonard McCoy was sick of Jim Kirk. No, correct that, Leonard McCoy was going to kill Jim Kirk. It wasn’t as if he didn’t have enough to do in the course of a day, but playin nursemaid to his husband, who according to Jim, “was moments away from meeting his maker.” wasn’t on his agenda.

"Achooo!" The sneeze came from Joanna who was sitting on the floor playing with her Pretty Pink Ponies. 

"Bless you darlin. Is there anything Daddy can bring you?"

Joanna smiled, “I’ll go get my own juice Daddy. Papa Jim do you want some juice?”

"Dead men don’t drink juice, honey." Jim groaned.

"I’ll get it baby girl." Bones said.

He came back in from the kitchen and settled Joanna across his lap. He tucked a fleece blanket around her shoulders and began to stroke his fingers through her messy hair. Joanna tucked her head against Bones’ chest and Bones started to sing to his daughter. 

Jim watched Bones rock his little girl and sing her silly song after silly song. It was a shame Jim Kirk was about to die. He would have enjoyed sticking around for more of this…

 


	19. Chapter 19

**Back to the Future**

Name an AU you are dying to see written!

From: theangelgabrieldidmyhair 

Prompt: Back to the Future

Jim Kirk was in trouble, T-R-O-U-B-L-E. Not only did Doc McCoy’s suped up sports car launch him 30 years backward in time and holy fuck he still can’t believe THAT worked, but the good doctor was gorgeous. His back was no longer stooped with age. Gone was the sparse grey hair and in its place was a head of thick, dark hair Jim was itching to run his fingers through. Clear hazel eyes, without the look of failure blazed into his own. And McCoy’s broad shoulders, please? It was a miracle Jim had managed to keep his hands to himself for as long as he had. 

"Ya gonna stand there gawping all day kid or are you gonna hop into this tin can so we can get you back home?"

Jim’s heart was beating a mile a minute as he walked to the doctor, threw his arms around his neck and kissed him for all he was worth. McCoy kissed him back then started to laugh. “Glad you finally found the guts to do that Jim. Gonna miss you when you go back home kid.” 

Jim kissed Doc one last time and strode to the DeLorean. He opened the door and reached inside, ripping out the flux capacitor with his bare hands. He backed out of the car and placed the device on the floor of the garage. Jim walked to the workbench and grabbed a sledge hammer. 

"I am home Doc."

 


	20. Chapter 20

**At The Hop**

Name an AU you are dying to see written

From: [ringmasterkirk](http://mx.tumblr.com/wf/click?upn=WwiHgA8QH3nHPNt4Iw9VmdEN-2F5kgHRsCpH9JZk0T2SIjotQjw0NvgavenHfZQ32sxGFP9mudVtdROtB64LvXTK-2BMmtJTFxwLt-2BcDuVXKzz8laTcWtzBVoqYjNPvmTihYOdE3y2Z-2BVJlj8l28kAXYVewSsDO4quFziO7cUifCn4U-3D_2XwY-2BWlaLb39Mzgk22V2GaKnQsVBMwSGugB3gBRODKBVVO-2FXjb7VO5bnWW0trtS7lMtbjJN2YPc8SeQMXIddXdU-2FEF0KE5R1E8AtXzGY-2FE9mlwIrZwfc009O0Ii37FDeaVGK4ilu96hK3mebw7Dc9MdgIb4vFD5af8agFcVTYa-2FtpSi9nWgZa4iPPdGfSFRBkNR6i7voqGdCOt82r-2FKH59hZHXnu0rhmdAK8WFw5tsA-3D)

Prompt: 1950’s AU

"I got you a carnation Bones, here let me pin it on you."

"Jim, ya don’t give flowers for goin to a sock hop."

"It’s our first date Bones, I wanted you to feel special."

"It is special darlin. I’m here with you."

Jim could hear the opening notes to “In The Still Of The Night.”

"Dance with me Bones?"

"It would be my pleasure Jim."

Jim pulled Bones into his arms and started dancing with him under the harsh florescent lights of the high school parking lot. Knowing their relationship would bring scorn and ridicule from their classmates and teachers they chose instead to celebrate their love by themselves under the stars.

 


	21. Chapter 21

**Supernatural**

Name one AU you are dying to see written

From: [areyefantastical](http://mx.tumblr.com/wf/click?upn=eCPRYRNSPK8-2Ba0vd1Au6pGGM47n2NQ7f1V-2B-2F87X-2Bbi2e99ONlhLuUIMfAxfosbB-2FV3lU7E-2F0x8TBozavK1KuFSqOHuxp1cAzpxLD5GBGl20v1QA-2FSGTLdl03R9qKl-2BhSguzKu9RYwYcwV-2FiuqJnK-2BzQgaX7-2BCze9HEa-2F4aHKAco-3D_2XwY-2BWlaLb39Mzgk22V2GaKnQsVBMwSGugB3gBRODKB2Uw1p5EtfiItruvqjkhw998Sf7aNKd5VNQPGAAibft0rjSOhXGvbQ1ebuqodlWlsn4d0QrUAK0a1oRx8uNGFqBmlrmmlAD-2FSpHW84f1XyXKsJkSxmZG4xbZnrM1KjC2EB3PkOqx7t33-2FH-2B8NHkDbnRbW-2FTaNJ7x7kqWIgcXqpt-2Fq5Szgmw8ZWlt1Erdx5dv4-3D)

Prompt: Supernatural AU, except Sam and Dean aren’t brothers but childhood friends.

When is the IDEAL time to tell your childhood best friend that you are in love with him? While being chased by hungry werewolves, when else? “God I love you Bones.”

"Seriously Jim, NOW, you wanna do this now?"

"If not now, when old man? You might wanna step it up Bones, they’re gaining on you!"

"I only have to outrun you, Jim."

"Good luck with that. Don’t you have anything to say back to me?"

"What like you’re the most annoyin person I know?"

"Boooooones."

"Yeah, yeah, Jim, I love you too. Now how in hell are we gettin out of this without teeth marks in our asses."

"I gotta plan Bones, just follow me."

"Been doin that m’whole life Jim."


	22. Chapter 22

**Silver Linings Playbook**

Name an AU you would love to see written

From: allihaveleftaremybones

Prompt: Silver Linings Playbook!AU

"I know you forged the letter from Joce, Jim."

"What are you talking about Bones? She wants you back, better go get her before some other asshole scoops her up."

"Joce is an English teacher Jim, she would never use the phrase, ‘Ya feel me?’ in a letter."

"Yeah, well the love of your life is waiting for you inside, hop to it Bones."

Bones walked to Jim and grabbed his face. He kissed Jim like he was a dying man and Jim was water.

"No Jim, the love of my life is standing right in front of me. Ya feel me?"


	23. Chapter 23

All of Me

Imagine Bones sitting at a piano, slowly tapping out John Legend’s All of Me as Jim sits on the piano bench next to him.

Bones sings, ”I love your curves and all your edges, All your perfect imperfections…”

Jim comes in with the next line, “Give your all to me, I’ll give my all to you..”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG, to all of my subscribers. I thought there was a way to post multi-chapters all at once instead of having to do this one at a time. I am SO sorry for filling your inboxes.
> 
> "She's filling boxes now Bones?"
> 
> "You're such an infant!"


	24. Chapter 24

**Buddy Cop**

Name an AU you are dying to see written

From: akaihanabi

Prompt:Not super sure but a buddy cop au?

 

"For the love of Christ, Jim, have another doughnut why don’t you?"

"Cool it Bones, you’re a cop not a doctor."

"Eleven coconut doughnuts Jim? Nothing like reinforcing the stereotype."

"Stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason Bones."

"How poetic."

"Mmmmppppffff"

"Yes, Jim, I accept your proposal to clean the car this week. Looks like a coconut bomb exploded in here, dammit."

"One delicious coconut doughnut left, Bones. It’s calling your name! ‘Boooooones eat me, put me in your mouth Bones, I’m yummy in your tummy."

"Hand it over or I swear to God, I’m gonna shoot you, Jim. Justifiable homicide, hell, I’d probably get a parade and a medal for public service."

"Knew you couldn’t resist having my sweet confection in your mouth Bones…"

 


	25. Chapter 25

**Headcanon: Jimmy**

I had always thought that Bones called Jim, “Jimmy” when Jim was feeling emotionally vulnerable.

What I have come to realize is that Bones calls him “Jimmy” when BONES is feeling emotionally vulnerable.

 

I really have to thank redford for getting me to sit down and think about the way I write this particular nickname? Kink? 


	26. Chapter 26

Leonard McCoy spent his entire life taking care of other people. Making sure neighbors were safe after big storms blew through and assuring friends and family that their runny nose was just a sniffle. He was comfortable and happy in this role until he met Jim Kirk. Now it’s true Jim got into his fair share of trouble and needed to be patched up on a regular basis, but that’s not what threw the good doctor for a loop.

No, it was the wrapped dinner plate Leo would find in the fridge with a note telling him to ‘eat up,’ after a long shift at the hospital. It was the clean laundry he would find folded on his bed when he had spent late hours studying and hadn’t the time to do it himself. It was the easy hug Jim provided when things had gone horribly wrong in the operating room. These acts of kindness made Bones’ chest uncomfortable; a feeling niggling at the edge of his consciousness that he couldn’t quite pin down.  

That was until the night Jim found him laying on the floor of their room, drunk and listening to an endless loop of “Dance with My Father.” Jim picked him off the floor and danced with Bones until his tears were cried out and Jim’s shoulder was damp. One word floated through his whiskey-soaked mind: love.

“Love you so much, Jimmy.”

“Love you too, old man, now let’s tuck you in.”


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Mall in Middle Earth....yeah, someone spent the weekend watching Eomer, erm Lord of the Rings, rather!

Bones hated the mall. Dante had missed the mark by not including the mall when he named his nine circles of hell. All he needed was a new tie to match the lavender colored shirt Joanna had gotten him for his birthday.

Jim on the other hand loved the mall, L-O-V-E-D the mall with a passion equal to Bones’ loathing. He loved to people watch and was always telling Bones stories about what the other people were here to buy; an engagement ring, new underpants or an old-fashioned paper book. More than that, he loved frozen yogurt.

One tie, one lousy tie is all he was here for and now, three hours and one fro-yo later Bones was ready to kill. “Jim I got you a fro-yo, can we please go now.”

“Okay, okay Bones, where you go, I follow. Call me the Samwise to your Fro-yo.” Jim stared to laugh hysterically.

“Rohirrim, TO THE CAR!”


	28. Chapter 28

Camping

“Jesus Christ in hiking boots, Jim, what was that? D’ya hear that Jim?”

“Calm down old man, it’s just the wind in the trees or an insomniac squirrel.”

“What if it’s a bear, Jim?”

“It’s not a bear, Bones.”

“Y’think our flimsy, little tent’s gonna stop a big ol’ hungry bear, Jim?”

“Bones, bears are more afraid of us than we are of them.”

“I’m southern Jim, my blood’s sweeter, it’s my ass they’re coming for.”

“Your ass is pretty sweet, Bones.”

“Dammit Jim, I’m a doctor not a midnight snack.”

“That’s a damn shame Bones, I’m kinda hungry.”


	29. Chapter 29

New Bed

**CRACK!**

“Dammit Jim, stop. I think we broke the bed.”

“No need to stop Bones, the bed’s broken not your ass.”

“Unbelievable.”

 

Later at Melvin’s Marvelous Mega  Mattress Market…

 

“Come on now Jim, you know I hate it when it’s too firm.”

“OH really Goldilocks? I seem to remember you weren’t complaining much this morning.”

“Infant. Let’s try something softer.”

 

“Bones, it feels like this one’s gonna swallow me whole.”

“Don’t hear you complainin when I swallow you whole.”

 

“This one’s in the middle Jim, what do you think?”

“Here I am, stuck in the middle with you.”

“Oh brother…”


	30. Chapter 30

Headcanon Treasure Island

Jim gets a real paper copy of the book Treasure Island in my secret admirer fic, An Apple a Day or Something Equally Cheesy. <http://archiveofourown.org/works/1280527>   Jim’s grandfather, Tiberius gave Jim George’s copy of Treasure Island for his twelfth birthday, since he is a man now. The book is Jim’s most prized possession. He reads it cover to cover at least once a week. He had created a secret hiding spot in his room for the book so Frank will never find it. On nights when Frank hits Jim or makes him feel lower than dirt, Jim huddles under the covers and reads by flashlight. The book has seen and absorbed more than its share of tears. Jim doesn’t have his copy of the book with him at the Academy because it’s in a safe deposit box in Riverside, Iowa.


	31. Chapter 31

It’s Poetry Night on the USS Enterprise. This is a tradition that was started by, of all people Pavel Chekov. “Poetry waz inwented by a little old lady in Minsk.” He explained and no one had the heart to argue with him. The theme of the night was the Japanese poetic form of Haiku. The rule of this art form was that each poem was three lines long, the first line consisting of five syllables, the second line having seven syllables and the third line also having five syllables.

Captain James Tiberius Kirk is the first to step up to the microphone.

Lips of velvet calm  
Eyes that swirl like angry seas  
My heart is his prize.

Bones swiped a tear from his eye as he replaced Jim at the mike.

Annoying Captain  
A toddler in command gold  
God-dammit Jim

“Bones, the last line only has four syllables!”

“Okay, Jim…”

Annoying Captain  
A toddler in command gold  
God-dammit Jim, fuck.

“Booooones.”


	32. Chapter 32

Headcanon Purple Panties

Bones wears his purple panties when he is stressed. See <http://archiveofourown.org/works/1312090>

He puts them on when he is studying for big exams or when writing papers. Jim notices Bones is more relaxed and calm when he wears them, so as a treat, he goes out and buys Bones more.  He notices, however, that Bones won’t wear them outside their dorm and starts encouraging Bones to try it on the day of an important exam. Bones agrees and ends up with a perfect test score.  Jim is so proud that he takes Bones shopping to buy more pretty panties.


	33. Chapter 33

Jim, Bones and Joanna sat on the porch swing, a storm brewing in the distance. Bones could feel the moisture in the air as the wind kicked up and danced through their hair. A vivid bolt of lightning cracked across the sky in the distance. Joanna sighed happily and cuddled herself more deeply into Jim’s side.

“Thought lightnin’ scared you, Jo-Jo.”

“Nothing scares me when I’m with my Daddies.”


	34. Chapter 34

Jim and Joanna are lying on a blanket staring up at the night sky.

“Show me the horsey again Daddy Jim.”

Jim pointed to the four points of Pegasus’ body. “Do you see them Jo-Jo?”

She snuggled closer to Jim. “I do, tell me the story again.”

“You’ve heard it a hundred times before baby girl and it’s past your bedtime.”

Joanna made Jim’s point for him, by yawning loudly. “One more time, Daddy, pleeeeeease?”

Jim started to tell her about the beautiful winged horse Pegasus and his adventures with Perseus as Joanna fell asleep against his shoulder.

Bones had been watching this exchange from the porch of their farmhouse. He remembered the nights when he and Jim would lie on a blanket on the observation deck of the Enterprise with Jim telling him the stories of the stars.

“Mind if I join you?” Bones whispered.

Jim smiled and nodded as Bones lay down and curled himself around Jim’s body.

“Tell me the story again, Jim, the story of Leo and his courage.”

“You know that one by heart, baby.”

“I know Jim, tell me again.”


	35. Chapter 35

St. Patrick's Day

Jim Kirk was an excitable kind of guy. No one knew this better than Bones. So when Jim insisted on getting them matching tee-shirts for their first St. Patrick’s Day together all he could do was grumble, “Knock yourself out, kid.”

When the day finally came, Jim shook Bones awake. “C’mon Bones, time to wear our matching shirts!”

"Okay Jim, show them to me." Bones ran a hand through his messy hair and sat up.

Jim turned around and shucked into a Kelly green tee and when he turned around, Bones read, “Kiss me, he’s Irish.” The shirt also featured a right pointing arrow. Bones started to giggle until Jim held up the other shirt. “I’m Irish.” It said…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was inspired by one of my favorite internet memes...it's a picture of people in a buffet line and a man is wearing a shirt that says, "If lost, please return to Rita." Further down the line is a woman wearing a shirt that says, "I'm Rita." I always laugh like hell at this and I knew this was the kind of thing he would do for his Irish boyfriend!!


	36. Chapter 36

Jim upended the warm bottle and squeezed it over Bones’ hard cock.

“Dammit Jim, that much chocolate isn’t good for anyone.”

Jim popped his full lips off of Bones’ cock, his face smeared with hot fudge. “Sooooo yummy, Bones.”

“It’s also sticky, Jim.”

“Booooones.” Jim moaned around the cock in his mouth.

“How do you plan on getting it all off me?”

“Be easier if you manscaped a bit more.”

“Sorry Jim, this is the first time you’ve turned my dick into dessert.”

“But it won’t be the last time, Bones.”


	37. Chapter 37

Shutterbug

“Stop takin pictures, dammit Jim, I’m a doctor not a swimsuit model.”

“Coulda fooled me Bones.”

Bones snorted in response.

“Just look at that gorgeous face.” CLICK CLICK

“Jimmmm.”

“And those broad shoulders.”  CLICK CLICK

Bones crossed his arms over his chest.

“Now you’re talkin Bones, God, those guns.” CLICK CLICK

Bones palmed his hardening cock through his swimsuit. “How about this Jim?”

“Fuck meeee, Bones.” CLICK CLICK

“Maybe if you put down the camera, darlin.”

CLUNK


	38. Chapter 38

Spring has Sprung!

Leonard Horatio McCoy’s right cheek was flat against the wall. His hands were on either side of his head, holding on for dear life or at least as much as one can when scrambling your fingers against a flat surface. He was naked, sweaty and his ass was pushed back. The reason Bones was in this position was  kneeling behind him and snacking on his slick asshole.

“Shall I compare thee to a Spring’s day?”  Jim postulated before lashing his tongue against Bones’ gaping, wet hole.

“Summer, Jim.” Bones panted, unable to believe he was able to speak English at the moment.  “Summer’s day.” Bones gasped as Jim’s tongue continued to assault his battered hole. His legs were shaking, they wouldn’t be able to support his weight much longer.

Jim kept licking and sucking at his ass, stabbing his tongue in and pushing past the first ring of muscle Jim hummed and Bones shouted out his name. “I know you’ve got one more in you Bones.” He’d already come twice or was it three times, fuck if he knew?

“Now is the Spring of our discontent.” Jim continued to work his tongue up higher into Bones’ ass, wiggling back and forth.

“Winter Jim, ‘ts Winter.”

Jim wiggled again and with one last shout, Bones was coming against the wall. Jim stood up and smacked his ass.   


“No way Bones, it’s the first day of Spring!”


	39. Chapter 39

Headcanon: Marinara

Miss Elizabeth, Bones’ grandmother has a famous marinara recipe. She makes this sauce to end feuds, solve problems, cure bad days and to celebrate life. The meal and the company are more special when Miss Elizabeth breaks this recipe out for her family. It’s a sauce that cooks for twenty hours. It’s also a sauce I used in a previous fic called Say Something. In that fic, Jim makes it for Bones to apologize for…well you gotta read the fic to find out what for…  <http://archiveofourown.org/works/1141448/chapters/2309473>

Now it is infamous headcanon for me that Jim Kirk cannot cook, in one fic, he set Miss Elizabeth’s house on fire while making peach cobbler. Don’t even ask how it’s possible, I doubt even Jim could explain it to you. However, the one thing can cook is Miss Elizabeth’s sauce. He knows he needs one big gun in his arsenal for when he’s driven Bones nuclear.

Being Italian myself, I know the power of pasta and the healing powers of having 30 people gathered around a table built for eight!


	40. Chapter 40

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeah....Jim's not the only one reading The Lord of the Rings AGAIN. But hey, at least this is research for Middle Earth: The Final Frontier. No really, it's purely a research venture! 
> 
> And hey, Jim is right, The Lord of the Rings is LIFE!
> 
> "Of course I'm right, honey!"

Blowjobs in Middle Earth

Jim had read _The Lord of the Rings_ , again. How did Bones know this? Jim would randomly shout out phrases from the books, for no reason, with no warning.  While doing dishes, Jim proclaimed, “Now is the hour! Riders of Rohan! Oaths you have taken, now fulfill them all, to lord and land!”

Later while Bones was working on his dissertation, Jim crowed, “None who venture there ever return. That mountain is evil.”

“Fuck all, Jim, trying to write here; maybe Uhura and Gaila know where you can find an evil mountain?”

 Much later when Jim was sitting on the floor playing video games, “I would cut off your head, dwarf, if it stood but a little higher from the ground.” 

“I would suck off your head, Jim, if it stood, but a little higher from the ground. So long as you STOP quoting that book.”

“Bones, _The Lord of the Rings_ is LIFE.”

“So are blowjobs, Jim!”


	41. Chapter 41

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not really McKirk, but I am having a lot of Karl Urban feels today with my BFF at MegaCon with him, so I'm sticking these here!

I have a lot of Karl Urban feels today and I've had these kicking around for a while so here goes:

Judge Dredd

Justice is faceless  
A leather-bound warrior  
Judgement time has come.

Eomer

Master of horses  
Brave friend, steadfast loyal king  
Warrior of old.

Bones

Full of Southern charm  
Drowning in bourbon nightly  
Until Jim smiled.

John Kennex

Justice, truth, honor,  
Betrayal cost him everything  
Sleeping Beauty wakes.


	42. Chapter 42

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's in the teens here in Massachusetts this morning, why should I be the only one to suffer?

Ice Fishing

“Jesus Christ in snow pants Jim, it’s fuckin cold.”

“It’s called ice fishing for a reason Bones, the word ‘ice’ in the title implies cold.”

“Got better things t’do than freeze my ass off Jim.”

“Such as?”

“Well…stuff.”

“What could be better than the two of us here alone, Bones?”

“The two of us alone and warm somewhere, Jim.”

“Well you’re the one sitting all the way over there Bones.”

“You flirtin with me,  Jim.”

“You bet your sweet, cold ass I am Bones.”


	43. Chapter 43

Headcanon Time away from his children

Jim Kirk HATES spending even one night away from his little ones. He remembers all the times his mother would kiss his forehead before leaving for another trip into the black. He remembers losing details about her the longer she was gone; the smell of perfume, the color of her eyes, the way it felt to be hugged until he thought his bones would break.  

Jim agrees to go on the occasional diplomatic mission for Starfleet once he and Bones have started a family, but they are few and far between. If the Admiralty insists on more or longer missions Jim will walk away from Starfleet in a heartbeat. It may have given him his career and his Bones, but he won’t allow Starfleet to be the reason his babies can’t remember what it feels like when Daddy hugs them.

 

As seen here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/1354153


	44. Build A Bear

The store was massive. How was it possible that there were this many animals available for stuffing? Jim ran a hand through his hair and began to sweat.  “Wow, Jo, where do we start?”

 

“This way Daddy.” She tugged him in the direction of the first row of bears.

 

There were cheerleader bears, Starfleet bears of different rank, police bears, fireman bears, princess and fairy bears, Andorian and Orion bears. Jim was dizzy. Joanna danced her way through the different rows of bears, Jim noted there were also five (?!?!?!) different types of ballerina bears. “Which one do you like honey?”

 

“Shhh, Daddy, I’m listenin’ for one to talk to me.”

 

Ah! That was why she was so quiet. Jim followed along behind her, listening too in case a bear spoke to him.

 

She was wearing bright pink converse sneakers and rainbow striped leggings with a purple tutu and a Harley Quinn tee shirt. Her curly hair had been expertly braided by Bones before he’d left for the hospital that morning. Joanna was wearing her Cinderella tiara at a jaunty angle. Her outfit was perfect. She continued to move quietly through the store until she has seen every blessed bear in sight.

 

“Well Jo, we’ve seen them all, which one whispered to you?”

 

She smiled and picked up Jim’s hand in her tiny one and led him back to the Starfleet bears. “I want this one Daddy.” She pointed to the bear in command gold.

 

“Why this one, Jo-bear.”

 

“So, I can cuddle my Daddy when he’s gone on the ‘Nterprise.”

 

Fighting back tears, Jim grabbed one wearing medical blues too.

 


	45. Chapter 45

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One of these things is not like the others, one of these things just isn't the same...
> 
> This is not a McKirk piece, it has to do with Judge Dredd I am posting this here for two reasons. Number one is that I need to know what you all think of this? Be honest, I mean it.
> 
> The second and more important reason this is here is that it's a test. NaughtyPastryChef and I have a plot bunny for something big (EPIC) that's going to involve Joe Dredd and I need to find his voice. I am not sure if I found rough enough words for him. And by rough I mean uneven, broken, harsh language. This is a hard man living in a violent world, there's no time for niceties. I don't think I am saying this right. Hmmm...
> 
> Let's hear what you think! You'll see Joe again, he might bring along some friends I am sure you'll want to meet!

The man knelt behind Dredd’s Law Master. The alley was hidden from the street but that wasn’t why he chose it. It was dirty and dark, just perfect for what he had in mind.

“I don’t think you heard me creep, swallow my fucking cock or you’re spending the night in the cubes.”

“Y-yes Sir, Judge Dredd.” The man licked out at the head of Dredd’s cock.

“What part of ‘swallow my cock’ did you misunderstand?” His voice was like broken glass, edgy and rough.

The man forced as much of Dredd’s cock into his mouth as he could fit and started to gag. That was when Dredd’s cock got that much harder. He fisted his gloved hands into the man’s hair and fucked his mouth furiously, grunting out his satisfaction every time he felt the man gag around his cock.

“Fucking take it creep, you fucking take all I give you.”  Dredd dug his feet into the hard ground and increased the power of his thrusts. His head was thrown back reveling in the feeling of the hot, dirty mouth engulfing his cock. He needed this, needed to find a dark spot to indulge his darkest desire. He fucked that man’s face for all he was worth and he could feel the come start to rise from his balls.

“Swallow every drop.” He grunted, “Swallow every fucking drop, understand?” Dredd didn’t care if the creep understood or not, he wasn’t going to have a choice in the matter. He gripped the man’s head harder and moaned low as his cock started to spurt deep down the man’s throat. He continued to thrust into the man’s mouth long after he was milked dry. He needed to feel that velvet heat surrounding his cock for a little while longer. It would be so long before he dared do this again.

Dredd pulled himself from the man’s mouth and stuffed his now limp cock back into his pants. He threw a credit chip in the man’s direction. “Next month?” He ground out, already knowing that was too far away. The man nodded once.

Dredd mounted his Law Master and resumed patrolling Mega City One.


	46. Vaako

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I mentioned the other day you may be seeing some other Karl Urban characters show up. Today it's Vaako and I'm trying to find his voice and see the way he interacts with the world around him. 
> 
> Gee, I wonder who his two mystery lovers could possibly be??

Vaako

His throat was raw. Both cocks had been battering into him for what felt like hours. It wasn’t enough.  The room was dark and Vaako was on his hands and knees. The room was so dark in fact that he felt his other senses heighten in the absence of even a pin prick of light.

Vaako’s sense of smell told him of the others’ arousal and need for him. The smell of come hung heavy in the room, he could smell his own as well as theirs. Then there was the smell of each man’s body, pushed deeply into his nostrils with every thrust of a cock into his hungry, wanting mouth. One man smelled like desperation, raw and needy. The other smelled like the pussy he had fucked the night before. He must have fucked her hard to still carry her scent. Knowing his lover was in such high demand made his own cock even harder.

Going hand in hand with smell was taste and OH how that was Vaako’s favorite. When the pussy flavored cock pushed its way in mouth his cock had pulsed and he came all over his stomach and the floor upon which he was kneeling. He roared through his orgasm until the man cut off his air supply with his thrusting cock, later Vaako came again, violently when the man’s come mixed with the taste of the woman’s pussy on his tongue, the lovers reunited again in Vaako’s mouth. He was treated to the taste of his own come as the second man had been jacking his cock as the first fucked his mouth. He lapped his juices from the other man’s hand in long, slow passes, enjoying the way his own flavor danced across his tongue, his cock stiffening once again.

The second man replaced the first in front of his face and offered his cock to Vaako’s needy mouth. His skin was bitter, almost too hot in his mouth. It ceased to matter later, when the cock began pulsing, thick, salty and alive into his mouth. His cock twitched and quick hand grabbed the base of his own cock to keep him from shooting again. He yelled in frustration as the hand tightened more on his too hard dick.

Touch was the sense that married them all together. Vaako felt the velvet heat of one cock brush his lips, begging for entry, while he felt hard fingers bruising into his hips from behind, the blunt head of that man’s cock stroking against his pucker. “Take me.” He demanded. Vaako screamed when the man obeyed. The second man took advantage of Vaako’s roar and shoved himself into his hot, greedy mouth.

Vaako was complete, whole again, filled at both ends. It was glorious, fucking otherworldly. The men moved in sync with each other, one plunging in, one withdrawing. Joined moans rose up and filled the air around them.

Both men suddenly changed tempo and Vaako started to keen in his throat as the cocks began to pound his body harder, faster, deeper. His mind screamed, more, More , MORE, YES, YES and then he thought no more. The rhythm of the dance and his body’s responses swept him away. He gave himself over to the cock pounding relentlessly into his ass. It occasionally grazed past his sweet spot and he howled around the cock pistoning in and out of his mouth as the other man’s balls continued slapping against his own. He kept humming low in his throat and the vibrations from his voice spurred on that man’s climax; gouts of thick, salty come filled his throat and coated his tongue. He moaned at the exquisite flavor floating across his tongue. He held the come in his mouth, enjoying the weight and texture for as long as he was able. The man backed out of his mouth and Vaako felt cold, alone, even though his ass was full to bursting with the second cock.

Vaako felt a hot hand on his cock, stroking him in concert with the deep thrusts in his burning ass. Faster and harder, they moved in concert together until Vaako felt the man pulse inside him and Vaako was screaming his own release, screaming until his voice cracked and he had to breathe deep or pass out. When the last aftershock passed, the man withdrew and wiped his cock head against Vaako’s bare ass cheek.

He heard both men walk to the door and slip outside, Vaako squinted as the room was momentarily lit from the ambient light outside his own room. As the door closed him in once again in his palace of solitude, he collapsed to the floor, sated, satisfied, happy.

Until tomorrow…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmmm, let's see one lover tastes bitter and the other tastes of another woman? I wonder if one wears command gold, the other medical blue?
> 
> This is also my maiden voyage into three-way sex. I have a sneaking suspicion there is more to come...literally!


	47. Chapter 47

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reaper's spending some quality time on his knees, but for whom?

Patience

John Grimm “Reaper” was on his knees. Strong fingers sunk deep into his soft, dark hair, massaging into the back of his head. He purred his delight at the simple touch. “Are you going to be a good boy for me, John?”

“Yes, Sir.” His voice was quiet and serious.

“Close your eyes for me John.” Reaper obeyed and was rewarded with a hot, stiff cock rubbing against his lips. John longed to kiss the velvet softness, to lick his tongue out and taste the leaking pre-come, but he stay still and obeyed.  This was an exercise in patience, in obedience. John wouldn’t fail again.

The cock shifted forward, the head moving up past his lips and nose to rub against the socket of John’s left eye. “Good boy, John. Keep your eyes closed.”  The man’s hold on John’s head tightened and he began to fuck his cock against his face in earnest. John could feel his balls slapping the underside of his chin. He moaned.

“Feels good doesn’t it?”

“Mmmm hmmm.”

“Where should I come John? On your face? On your lips?” John moaned again. “In your mouth?” John hummed loudly in response.

He had given himself away.  Fuck.

“Gonna come.” The man whispered. “Gonna come all over your pretty face. Open your eyes for me John.” Startling green eyes opened to stare up him.  “Good boy.” The first blast of come slapped against his right cheek. John’s cock throbbed in his pants. The second blast hit his left eye and went into his hair and the third was aimed at his plush lips.

“Good boy John, go clean yourself up.”

“Yes, Capt-” John stopped himself in time and the man’s amazingly blue eyes glittered at him. “Yes Sir.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last of the Karl Urban characters, since not many of you seem to like them.


	48. Another Rainy Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim's waiting up late for Bones to get home from the hospital.
> 
> This little fic comes from the original McKirk 30 day challenge. The prompt was to write something angst ridden and this was the story Jim told me. I know what you're asking, "Where's the angst?" There isn't any which is why this remained unpublished. There is also a second attempt at angst sitting in the McKirk folder on my computer that you may see soon as well, again it was a nice plot bunny but with no angst in sight! 
> 
> It strikes me every so often that I am not in charge here. I'm just the girl tapping on the keyboard, because let's face it, if it were Captain James Tiberius Perfect Hair hunting and pecking, we'd be here all day!
> 
> "That's not nice honey."
> 
> Neither is talking my ear my ear off at 3:55am, Jim.
> 
> "Good point, how about some waffles?"

It’s another rainy night in San Francisco. Enough rain already, Jim thinks as he stares out the window looking for the familiar form of his roommate. He’s already set the table, twice now since he wasn’t quite satisfied with the way it looked the first time. “C’mon Bones, where are you, it’s really late.” Jim sighed, then moved his shaking hands to the cold glass of the window. Bones’ shift at the hospital should have ended at 11pm, but with the rain came accidents and Jim wasn’t surprised that he was late getting back. It was past 1am now and Jim was getting a bit worried. “Of course it had to rain tonight…tonight of all nights.” Jim had spent the last two weeks planning this evening; researching the menu, how he would say what he had been holding back for the last two years. He’d spent hours in front of their bathroom mirror practicing, “I love you Bones….love you man… God I fucking love you Bones.” He said the words again and again even though the words had taken up permanent residence in his heart years ago, he was still getting used the way they felt in his mouth, on his tongue.

Finally he saw the huddled form of Dr. Leonard McCoy walking quickly toward the front door of their building. Jim went to the oven, pulled out the lasagna and dished out two servings. He also grabbed the salad out of the fridge. He ordered the lights down to 10% and lit the candles on the table. Everything was ready, except Jim. He couldn’t keep the tremor out of his hands, so he shoved them behind his back and into his pockets.  He could hear the soft beeps of Bones entering his security code and the swoosh as the door opened on the dripping form of his best friend.

“Jim, what’s all this?”

“Dinner Bones. It’s been a long day.”

“You made all of this for me?”

“For us, Bones.”

“Jim I don’t understand.”

“There’s something I’ve been wanting to tell you and it can’t wait any longer.”

“Okay Jim, somethin the matter, should I be worried?”

“Uhmmm, maybe, I don’t know. Bones, I-” Bones had walked to Jim, concern etched in his eyes as he put the back of his hand to Jim’s forehead.

“Jim, what is it? You’re feeling a bit warm, I’ll get my bag.”

“Bones, no. I’m fine, I’m not sick, least not physically. I love you Bones. I think I have from the very beginning.”

“Well fuck me blue, Jimmy. Y’finally figured it out, did ya?”

“What? Y-you knew?”

“A course I knew darlin, was just waitin for you to come to that conclusion on your own.”

“And now that I have?”

Bones wrapped his arms around Jim. “I love you too Jim, more every day.”

Jim hugged him back. “You hungry?”

“For the lasagna or for you?”


	49. Chapter 49

Headcanon Muffins

Bones is a muffin man in my Fairy Tale version of Hansel and Gretel:  <http://archiveofourown.org/works/1251883/chapters/2750053>

Sunday mornings at the McCoy farm were for muffins and church. Miss Elizabeth would poll her family on Friday and they type of muffin with the most votes would be on the breakfast table come Sunday morning.  Muffins reminded Leo of home, of all the things that were good in his life before Jocelyn, his father and the divorce. Simply, happy times…One mouthful is enough to transport him back in time.

This is why health conscious Doctor Leonard H. McCoy can never pass up a muffin or two. 


	50. April Fool's Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We have decided to do a series of Easter Drabbles one a day until Easter Monday. Today's April Fool's Day and I hate it with a burning passion, so if I have to suffer through it, so do Jim and Bones!

Pranks were flying around the USS Enterprise at warp 10. There was itching power, laxatives disguised as chocolate, the old fly in the ice cube trick.

Bones had had enough. Enough pranks and enough of this day, he just wanted to go back to his quarters and duck under the covers. He keyed his security code into the door and called for the lights, but nothing happened. “Fuck me, not another god-dammed prank.”

“Not a prank Bones, just good old fashioned candlelight.” Jim said from the bed.

Bones walked further into the room to see his boyfriend and ship’s Captain reclining on his bed, holo-candles shimmering in the air. Jim got up and walked to Bones, pulling him into a long kiss. Bones kissed him back, sliding his tongue across Jim’s as his arms wrapped around his hips.  

“There’s something I’ve been wanting to ask you Bones.” Jim stepped out of Bones’ arms and got down on one knee. “We’ve been together through so much Bones and it’s just not possible to love you more than I already do. I want to spend my life with you, make a home with you.” He took a breath and swallowed roughly. “I want to raise babies with you, Bones. Will you marry me?” Jim smiled up at him.

“Are you fucking kidding me, Jim? April Fool’s, RIGHT?” Bones was furious. How dare Jim make a mockery of this? He stroke toward the door.

“Bones wait!” Jim cried out from the floor, he had fallen to both knees when Bones turned away from him.

He was so pissed off he almost missed the genuine hurt in Jim’s voice. He turned to see Jim kneeling on the floor with a closed fist rubbing at his heart. “Jim?” Bones rushed back and knelt next to him, reaching his hands out for Jim’s tear streaked face. “You were serious, darlin?”

Jim could only nod and opened the fist that he had been clutching to his heart. In his palm was a platinum wedding band.  

“Oh Jimmy.” Bones’ heart broke. How could he have thought Jim would ever make a joke out of this? His golden boy who was even now still afraid that the one person he loved would walk away from him and Bones had proven him right by doing just that thing. He pulled Jim into his arms and rocked him against his chest. “So sorry Jimmy, I’m so sorry darlin. It’s just today and all the pranks and I just- I’m a complete dick, I love you so much, of course I wanna marry you, always have Jim. If you’re still wantin to I mean?” Bones couldn’t stop rambling.

Jim looked up at Bones with his watery blue eyes. “I changed my mind Bones.”

“Oh…” He deserved this, he totally fucking deserved it.

“APRIL FOOOOOOL’S!” Jim slid the ring on Bones finger. 


	51. Chapter 51

Imagine Bones is wearing a pair of boxer shorts that look like the TARDIS and Jim rolling his eyes when Bones tells him, “It’s bigger on the inside.”


	52. Chapter 52

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Urbine Haiku

Karl and Chris together,  
Sunshine on a cloudy day  
Kiss him already


	53. Chapter 53

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karl Urban Haiku Night

Karl in boxer shorts  
Fucking beautiful bastard  
Need new panties now

 

Collarbone freckle  
You vex my numb tongue nightly   
Let me lick you more!

 

Horse Lord of Rohan   
Whispers gently in my ear   
Tales of long ago


	54. Chapter 54

Headcanon: Superheroes

With one act of friendship Doctor Leonard Horatio McCoy saved the Federation and Earth. He battled and defeated death for Jim Kirk.

James Tiberius Kirk saved Planet Earth twice, saved his ship and his crew by dying for them.

Go ahead, I dare you to tell me Jim and Bones aren’t superheroes. They don’t wear capes or colored tights (Thank Christ!) but they are superheroes just the same.

They are my superheroes.


	55. Nutty As A Fruitcake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Otherwise known as the 'Jim is a produce manager of a supermarket and Bones needs a papaya' AU.

Leonard needed a papaya for “Fruit Day” at Joanna’s kindergarten. He’d been to three stores and this was the last one on his list. He knew he’d drive to Savannah if need be to get that damned fruit.

“Hey, you got any papayas?” he called out to the  handsome blonde produce manager who was wearing a name tag with “JIM” written on it.

Leonard rolled his eyes at the manager -JIM- looked him up and down. “What’re you gonna give me for one?” Jim smirked.

“Uhh, the price?” Leonard didn’t have time to fool around. He needed to buy the fruit and then pick Joanna up from the after school program.

“Tell you what, I’ll get you the juiciest,” Jim licked his lips obscenely, “Sweetest, ripest papaya I’ve got, if you’ll go on a _date_ with me, get it, a date?”

“What are you, some sorta fruit pimp? Have to admit I’m kinda s-peach-less.”

“If the banana fits. Jim leered.

“The idea has a-peel and I like your en-fruit-iasm” Leonard snorted.

“Orange you glad you came into this store? I think we’d make an interesting pear.”

Leonard thought they’d make an interesting pear too. Coming into this store had been a berry good idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Drabble Night!! You guys are the APPLE of my eye!


	56. Felt It In My Bones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Otherwise Known As The ‘I Just Met You, Marry Me’ AU

Jim walked into the jewelry store looking like he had the world on a string. He strode up to the counter and waited patiently until the surly looking clerk with a name tag reading “LEO” looked up from his inventory count.

“Help ya?” Sweet, southern honey dripped from his lips.

“Hi, I’m Jim Kirk. I’m looking for a man’s platinum wedding bad.”

It was a pity this man was about to pop the question, Leo wouldn’t mind riding him hard and putting him away wet.

“What size is your fiancé-to-be?” Leo couldn’t help but notice this man was just _his_ size. Jim would fit him like a glove.

“Size 10, please.” Jim smirked as Leo pulled out a tray of platinum bands, all of them gleaming under the halogen lights of the store.

“Which one can I show you?”

“Your favorite.”

_What the hell,_ Leo thought and picked up a thick band made of brushed platinum. He’d fallen in love with this band from the moment it had come into inventory. Never one to give up a sale, he had to admit, he never pushed this ring very hard on his customers, knowing it would break his heart to see anyone else wear it.

“Can I see how it looks on you? My fiancé-to-be is about your size.” Jim held out his hand, palm up and Leo dropped the ring onto his warm skin. The metal was cold to the touch and Jim held it in his fist to warm it up.

He had to admit he wouldn’t have thought to choose this design, but now that he was looking at it, he loved it. It was perfect. He motioned for Leo to hold out his hand and when he did, slid the band onto the third finger of his left hand. “Marry me?” Jim whispered, leaning over to kiss the back of Leo’s hand, his blue eyes locking with the stunned gold in Leo’s eyes.

“Are you crazy, we just met? I don’t even know your middle name.” As crazy as this whole thing was, Leo’s heart was pounding and the look Jim was giving him was making his pants tighter. This made about as much sense as tits on a tractor.

“It’s Tiberius, marry me, Leo.” Jim winked and nodded his head encouragingly.

He was sweating like a prostitute in church. “Why me?” _Here it comes, he’s gonna tell me it was all a bad joke._

“I saw you standing at the counter the other day and haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. I’ve got a feeling in my bones we’re meant to be, what do you say, marry me.”

“C’mere and give me some sugar.” Leo pulled Jim close and kissed him, whispering “yes,” every time their lips broke apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was brainstorming AU's for this drabble night the other day with the intention of sending them to Corrie71 for her to tackle. BUT, James Tiberius Blabbermouth has an odd sense of humor. I wrote four plot tribbles and within 30 minutes of sending them to Corrie, I had ideas for all of them, courtesy of Jim, my sweet little (bastard) dumplin!
> 
> OH god, I've been bitten by the southern metaphor bug!!!


	57. I’ll Buy The Pretzel, You Buy The Ring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Otherwise known as the 'Jim owns a pretzel cart and Bones forgot his wallet' AU.

Jim watched as his perfect pretzels twirled around in their glass enclosed case. He hadn’t had a customer in hours and was wondering if he should pack it in for the day when a harried doctor ran out through the hospital doors heading toward him and his pretzel cart.

“Glad you’re still here, I’m starvin’. I’ll have one with spicy mustard and the beer cheese, please.”

“Jim Kirk.” He introduced himself with a laugh “You’re a poet and didn’t know it, doctor…?”

“McCoy, Leonard McCoy.” He took a large bite of the pretzel, spicy brown mustard landing in a blob on his white lab coat. “MMPPFF, this’s the greatest, ‘retzel ever.” Leonard said around his second enormous mouthful, not caring a lick about the mustard on his jacket.

Jim’s eyes went wide at the way Leonard tore into his perfect pretzel. His dick got instantly hard at the way the doctor licked the beer cheese off his thick bottom lip. Jim tried to speak and all that came out was a raspy wheeze. He took a deep breath and tried again. “You gonna pay for that, doc?” He winked at the stunned expression on McCoy’s face.

Leonard thrust the half eaten pretzel at Jim, a look of longing on his face. Jim wasn’t entirely sure if the look was for him or the pretzel. _Oh well, at least a part of me ended up in his mouth,_ he thought ruefully.

Leonard reached into his back pocket for his wallet and came up empty. He started to spin around, crazily frisking himself looking for his wallet. “I am so sorry, Jim. I musta left my wallet in my locker when I went into surgery and didn’t grab it before I ran out here. If you’ll wait a sec, I’ll run back inside and grab it.” Leonard turned to go, humiliation burning up his face, when he felt Jim’s hand on his arm.

“Make a deal with you doc. I’ll buy the pretzel if you buy the ring.” Jim waggled his left hand at Leonard’s grinning face.

He grabbed the pretzel back from Jim’s hand and was about to take a bite when he noticed the serious look Jim was giving him. “You make this kinda deal with all your customers who forget their wallets?”

Jim shook his head no.

Leonard shook his head yes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The thought of Bones licking cheese sauce off his lip???


	58. Going Down?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Or the, ‘I can’t believe this crazy bastard talked me into going over Niagara Falls in a barrel’ AU.

Jim dressed in his water-tight, insulated suit, doing a strange shimmying dance as he managed to finally get his left arm in the wetsuit. He couldn’t help admiring the tall drink of water who was peppering him with questions for an article that would appear in the Buffalo Times the next morning. It seemed he was one of the first customers of the newly opened “Barrel Rides Over Niagara,” and Leonard’s paper wanted an interview from someone brave enough to tackle the falls.

“What’s it feel like to free fall over the edge of the falls?” The reporter named Leonard asked.

“Don’t know, never did it before.” Jim winked as he stretched his body.

“Does it feel like going down the hill on a roller coaster?” Leonard did not like roller coasters and the way they made you feel like your stomach was going to shoot out of your mouth as you flew around the dips and turns.

“Guess I’ll find out.” Jim shrugged.

“Look, I’ve got a deadline and you’re not giving me a lot to go with here. Help a guy out, huh?”

Jim’s eyes travelled the length of Leonard’s body. He’d like to help him out alright, right out of his clothes and onto his knees. “Look, if you want first-hand knowledge, come with me.”

Leonard paled. “Come…come _WITH_ you? You’re the daredevil, I’m the reporter.”

“Then maybe I have no comment.” He almost laughed out loud at the panicked look on Leonard’s handsome face.  “You jump, I jump.”

“You realize the ship sank and Jack DIED, right?” NO, he was absolutely not doing this. Not risking his life for the blue fire blazing in this near stranger’s eyes.

“Fine, you be Rose.” Jim winked. He wondered what Leo would look like posed nude on a chaise asking Jim to draw him like one of his French girls.

“Over my dead body.” He practically growled. “You got a spare wetsuit?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was talking to the lovely redford this morning about New Orleans, where I believe a certain Kiwi will be this weekend at a con. BUT, I digress. I mentioned to her that I would love to see New Orleans, It's probably the one spot in the US I am dying to see...and then my mind snapped to Niagara Falls. All of a sudden I could hear Jim saying "You jump, I jump." Dammit Jim. Corrie71 has been trying to get me to write a Titanic AU with Bones asking Jim to draw him like one of his French girls and this is as close to that AU as I am getting for now...or at least until Corrie sics that tribble on me...


	59. Goodbye Cruel World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's colder than a witch's tit in a brass bra here in Massachusetts. I suffer, Bones suffers. That's just how I roll...

Bones’ face was surrounded by the icy fog of his own breath. “The fuck was wrong with me thinking a vacation in Massachusetts in January was a good idea?” The wooden deck crackled loudly as Bones walked across it.

“Dammit Jim, this weather is more frigid than my ex-wife and that’s saying something.” Stupid bitch was colder than Christmas day in Siberia, which incidentally was probably a damn sight warmer than Boston.

Jim rolled his eyes as he listened to his thin-blooded, thick cocked husband complain about the weather. What had Bones expected it was January in Massachusetts after all?

“Bet it’s warmer in fricken Antarctica, it’s goddamned summer there…” Bones muttered as he kept moving forward. It was so cold his skin felt wind-burned and he was pretty sure the next blast of icy wind was going to rip the skin clean off his face.

“It’s so cold I bet the hookers downtown charge $20 just to blow on your hands.” Bones knew frostbite could set in within thirty minutes of exposure in -20 degree windchill, the weather girl on the local ABC affiliate had been saying it once every 10 minutes for the entire newscast. “Life-threatening cold,” she’d called it.

“Wish my cock was as stiff as the wind, Christ I think my balls are drawn so high they’re holding a royal flush.” He thought he heard Jim snort with laughter, but it could have been the wind or cold madness or the wind or his brain function ceasing as he slowly froze to fucking death.

“This is like the ice planet Hoth. Not gonna gut then climb into the still warm body cavity of a Tauntaun. Don’t even ask, Jim. Don’t care if you have a Han Solo kink.” Han Solo in the captain’s chair of the Millennium Falcon, now _that_ was something he could work with, if his cock defrosted and didn’t crack and break off in the bone-chilling cold.

“Leave me here to die alone. Go on without me, Jim. Tell my mother I love her. Goodbye cruel world.” There were so many things he’d never have a chance to do; snorkel with sea turtles, eat snails in Paris, enter a wet tee-shirt contest. It was a short life, but a good one. He hoped Jim would miss him.

“Don’t pine for me forever, Jim, just ten years or so. I want you to be happy with someone less handsome than me…”

“No man left behind, drama queen.” Jim hollered. “ It’s ten more feet to the car which has been warming up for 20 minutes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's was -2F when I left the house this morning. When I stepped onto the deck on my way to the car, the wood snapped and crackled so loudly, I thought it was gun fire, I kid you not! The weather people have indeed been telling us all that this is "Life threatening cold" about twenty times a newscast... I posted on my FB page about the deck and the lovely Corrie71, plot tribble reproductionist extraordinaire suggest I write about Bones in the cold. Your tribble is my command!
> 
> Whenever I think of brutal cold, I think of the Ice Planet Hoth. It's also my headcanon that Karl Urban has a wicked big crush on Han Solo. New England girl, see what I did there?
> 
> I love drama queen Bones!


	60. Curiosity Killed The Big Cat Vet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Otherwise known as the, 'Bones is a big cat vet and Jim is AU a Kindergarten teacher on a field trip to the zoo' AU.

Leo loved Kindergarten day at the zoo. What he hated was when the kiddie teachers tried to steal the show with their internet knowledge of big cats. He’d seen it happen a hundred times and it never failed to amuse him.  He didn’t think this teacher would be any different, he was tall, with sandy blond hair and blue eyes and seemed to hold his class spellbound as he got them to gather round and be ready to listen. “And isn’t it neat that his name is Doctor Leo? Because Leo is the symbol of a lion.”

_Oh jeez, not that symbol of a lion crap again…_ “Hiya, kiddos!” Leo called out.

“HIYA, DOCTOR LEO!” The class shouted out in unison.

He had to admit this teacher had his class well trained. He started his presentation talking about how the zoo came to be in possession of its tigers and lions and cheetah’s.

“OH MY!” The class shouted out.

Leo noticed the way the handsome blond teacher laughed along with his kids. He continued on with how the cats spent their day at the zoo and told funny stories about how one tiger named Spock loved to have his ears rubbed. “Does anyone have any questions?”

The blond teacher’s hand went up instantly. “Yes, Mr.?”

“Mr. Kirk, Jim Kirk.”

Leo could have sworn the teacher, Jim-Mr. Kirk- winked at him. “What’s your question, Mr. Kirk?

“How much does a full grown tiger weigh?”

There was no doubt about it this time, Jim-Mr, Kirk- winked at him. “Full grown tigers can weigh as much as 450-500 pounds. About as much as everyone in your class weighed together.”

“WHOA.” The class oohed and ahhed together, Jim leading with wide eyes.

“How many pounds of meat does a tiger eat a day?” His eyes twinkled happily.

 “About 13-15 pounds of meat per day.” Leo couldn’t help it, he smiled back at Jim.

“So Spock would eat one of my kiddos every _day?”_  Jim growled and made to grab for one of the nearby kids. They all shriek with laughter.

Leo nodded, laughing along with the class.

“All of my kids love animal babies, how big is a litter of tigers?” He licked out at his lips as he finished the question.  

Leo cleared his throat, surely this guy wasn’t really flirting with him, was he? “Tiger mamas can have three to four cubs at a time.” Before Jim could ask another question, Leo quickly added, “Who’s ready to see Spock up close?”

“ME, ME, ME!” The kids started shouting at once.

“Follow me, kids.” He waved his arms and the kids scampered after him.

Jim stayed behind to make sure all of the kids were accounted for, before following the kids into the room with the large viewing window. He could see all of his kids with their faces pressed against the glass staring at a reclining Spock as he snoozed in the morning sunlight. He saw Dr. Leo standing in the back, watching the kids admire the tiger and sidled over to speak with him. “Got one more question for you, Doc.”

“Do ya, now? You gonna ask me how tigers mate?” He snorted at his own sense of humor and looked over at Jim who wore a serious look on his face.

“I already know that, I looked tigers up on the internet last night. What I don’t know, is if you’re interested in going out with me?”

Leo blushed and looked away from Jim. He dug into his shirt pocket and pulled something out which he scribbled furiously on for a few seconds before handing it to Jim.

On the front it read, Doctor Leonard H. McCoy, DVM., followed by the zoo’s address and his contact numbers. On the back was written “Do tigers have stripes?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Of course I looked up all this information about tigers on the internet...


	61. Bookstore Beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Otherwise known as the 'Meeting in a bookstore' AU.

Blue eyes. All Leo could see were blue eyes peeping above the book shelf. He was looking for some self-help book a colleague recommended to motivate his sales force when he saw the flash of blue above the book shelf. The stranger’s eyes met and held his.

Green eyes. All Jim could see was a burst of green. He wondered if they were real or those colored contact lenses and what the hell could a man with eyes like that need in the self-help section? He dropped his gaze and went back to searching for the collected works of Robert Frost.

If memory served, the other side of the book case was filled with books on poetry. Leo wondered if he was the kind of man who used lines from poems to seduce his lovers. He wrapped his arms around himself to ward off the shiver travelling down his spine. “Lord Byron, might be what you’re looking for.” Leo offered, “ _She walks in beauty like the night._ ” Leo quoted, feeling weak in the knees when those too blue eyes smiled back at him.

“Not exactly my style, I prefer, ‘ _Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length.’”_ Jim unmistakably drew out the last word, dropping a sexy wink, just in case his meaning _was_ mistakable.

Leo knew what point “blue-eyes” was driving home and was eager to return his volley. “ _Come_ again?” He teased.

“Don’t you want to know my name first?”

Leo shook his head, “Tell me tomorrow morning over breakfast.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first two paragraphs of this drabble have been sitting in a folder on my computer for months and all of a sudden tonight, James Tiberius Blabbermouth told me how to end it! Cheeky, teasing bastard that he is!
> 
> Leo's quote was from Lord Byron, while Jim's was from Robert Frost. I highly doubt Frost ever meant that line to mean what Jim intimates...


	62. Butter Bonanza

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Otherwise known as the, 'Bones is the popcorn vendor who drowns Jim's order in butter.' AU.

 “Yeah, I’ll have a diet coke and a large popcorn, light on the butter.” Jim wasn’t sure but he thought he saw the popcorn vendor roll his hazel eyes at him.

Leo was in no mood to deal with picky customers. He was working a double because Scotty had called in “sick” which Leo knew was code for “got another date with Gaila.” When was Scotty ever going to work a shift for him because he was “sick?” Probably on the third Sunday from never with the way his dating prospects were shaping up. He bemoaned his single status as he continued pumping butter onto “Blondie’s” popcorn. _That guy probably has no trouble getting dates,_ he thought bitterly as he added one last squirt of butter for good measure.

“Hey, what the hell, man?” Jim asked. “I said light butter and I don’t know about you, but I can’t see the popcorn for the river of butter running through it.”

“I take it you don’t want it.” Leo’s frown grew larger by the minute.

Jim shook his head no and looked at his watch. “No thanks, movie starts in a minute and I don’t want to miss it.”

Before Leo could offer to replace it, “Blondie” was gone.

 

Jim settled in to watch the movie, pulling a box of _Hot Tamales_ out of his pocket. It figured the hottie behind the popcorn counter was a world class dick, all of the handsome ones were. Jim put him out of his mind and concentrated on the movie until someone sat down beside him. The theater was half empty, why the hell was this guy sitting next to him?

“Figures you were in the last theater I checked.” Leo grumped.

“Don’t tell me you’re here to spoil the movie for me too?” Jim returned, equally as annoyed.

Leo offered a bucket of popcorn. “Light butter. Sorry I was such a dick earlier. I was stuck working a double so my friend could go out with his girlfriend.” Leo sighed, wondering if fresh popcorn would equal a fresh start.

“Wouldn’t be so bad if you were on a date with your boyfriend.” Jim whispered back.

“Don’t have a boyfriend.” Boy this night was getting better by the minute.

“Maybe you would if you stayed for the movie.” Jim offered the bucket back with a smile. “Jim Kirk.”

Leo settled into his seat and took a handful of popcorn. He shivered as his hand brushed past Jim’s. “Leo McCoy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This idea comes courtesy of GoWashTheLights who mentioned going to the movies the other day!


	63. A Snippy Situation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Otherwise known as the ‘Jim is getting his dog snipped and Bones is the vet’ AU

“Hi Buster, how’s my big boy doing?” Jim cooed as he walked into the recovery room.

The newly neutered chocolate lab snorted and turned his head back toward the gorgeous vet who had been rubbing his ears.

“Sometimes they don’t react well to their owners after surgery.” Doctor McCoy offered by way of apology.

Jim smiled, “Guess I wouldn’t be too keen on the person responsible for cutting off my balls.” Jim laughed nervously and cringed, it wasn’t bad enough his own dog hated him, now he was cracking bad jokes at Buster’s expense.

If Leo had a nickel for every time someone had said _that_ to him, he wouldn’t have to spend his days neutering cats and dogs.  He took the high road and nodded at Buster’s father. “You bring any treats or favorite toys with you? Sometimes that helps to win the dog back, so to speak.”

Jim reached into his messenger bag to pull out what a mangled stuffed animal. “Buster, look. I brought Mr. Bear.” Jim waved the ratty animal near Buster’s face.

Buster didn’t take the bait, choosing instead to lick the Doctor’s hand.

“You were the one who snipped him, why is he _your_ best friend all of a sudden?” Jim had been feeling awful about Buster’s surgery all day and getting the cold shoulder from his best and only friend was making him feel like a world class prick.

“I didn’t see Buster until he was under the anesthesia and I was the first face he saw when he woke up.” Leo felt bad, Buster’s dad seemed like an okay guy and he knew how hard it was for owners to make the responsible decision to have their beloved pet neutered.

Jim nodded, “We should be going.” He reached forward to scoop Buster off the table and the dog began howling. Jim pulled back liked he’d been burned, quickly turning around to compose himself.

“Let me help you get him to the car. I’m sure he’ll be fine once he’s home and around things that are familiar to him.” Leo scooped the puppy up into his arms.

“It’s not like you can come home with us if he starts howling again.”

“Why can’t I?”Leo stared a bit too long at Jim’s plush lips before meeting his eyes again, hoping he would get the message. “It would be a shame if Buster needed something and I wasn’t there to help him. Besides, I think his Dad has had a pretty rough day too.”

“Promise not to put me in the cone of shame?” Jim indicated the white plastic saucer around Buster’s neck meant to keep him from biting at his stitches.

“That’s more of a second date thing.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to Corrie71 for coming through at the end. Jim shut up right before the last line...it's like getting tackled on the one yard line!


	64. Butterfly Kisses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bones is sick and won't let Jim kiss him, but Jim has a solution.
> 
> This is from a Tumblr prompt about different kinds of kisses. Corrie71 challenged me to write Butterfly Kisses.

Bones sniffled and batted Jim away when he ducked in for a kiss. “Dammit, Jim! I’m sick and I don’t want you to catch it.”

“Dammit, Bones! It’s been three days and I’m gonna DIE if I don’t kiss you.” Jim crossed his arms over his chest and pouted like a two year old who just dropped his ice cream cone on the sidewalk.

“You’re such an infant.” Bones tried to hide his grin and failed.

“Oh, I know how to kiss you without catching your plague.”  Jim rubbed his hands together with glee.

“My dick is off limits too, hot pants.” Boy he must be sick if he was refusing Jim.

“I’m disappointed in you, Bones. I do think about more than your dick you know?” He didn’t, but there was no need to inflate Bones’ ego more than it was by telling him he was right.

“Yeah, you think of YOUR dick.” Bones’ snorted for effect and ended up coughing.

“You and I are seriously going to have a talk about your mistaken impressions about me when I’m done butterfly kissing you within an inch of your life.” Jim winked before bouncing on the bed like an excited toddler. He pulled a protesting Bones flush against his chest.

“Wait, what now?” Bones voice rumbled.

Jim leaned close to the back of his neck and fluttered his long eyelashes against Bones’ fevered skin. “Butterfly kisses, Bones.”

“Oh, well, that’s kinda nice, Jim.” He settled back further against Jim’s chest and got more comfortable.

“Did you take your Nyquil?” Jim fluttered kisses against the side of Bones’ neck and up his right ear.

“Umm hmm.” Bones muttered, his eyelids almost too heavy to keep open.

Jim felt it the moment Bones slipped into sleep in his arms and used the quiet time to drop a real kiss against his temple. “Love you, Bones.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Drabble Night. Thank you so much to Corrie71 and GoWashTheLights for doing these with me!!! Hugs and Tribbles, Ladies!


	65. Shut Up OR Kiss Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim goes to see The Hobbit:The Battle Of The Five Armies and his rude seatmate keeps spoiling the show.

Jim was running late and wondered if he should skip the new Hobbit movie and see it another time. _Fuck it_ , he thought, how busy could it be on opening night? So busy in fact the guy in the ticket booth told him he’d bought the last ticket to the show.

Jim found the empty seat just as the theme music started and “Excuse me, pardon me’d” his way down the row, noticing the seat was filled with someone’s jacket and hat. “Mind if I sit here?” Jim asked the frowning dark-haired man, who just glared at him and moved his coat.

“Gee thanks.” Jim frowned in return. He settled into his seat and got ready for the start of the show, quickly forgetting about the handsome if grumpy stranger in the seat next to him.

“Dammit, it didn’t happen like that in the book.” The stranger groused. “Peter Jackson fucks everything up.”

Jim rolled his eyes and elbowed his rude seatmate. He hadn’t read the book and didn’t understand why people were so caught up in it anyway.

“Hold on a second, Bilbo doesn’t say that line until later.” The grumpy stranger whispered to Jim.

“I could give two fucks when Bilbo says what. Stop ruining the damned movie.” Jim whispered furiously.

The stranger pulled back and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Dammit the arrow that kills Smaug is black, not iron.” Grumpy pants muttered moments later.

Jim had had enough, he would have moved to another seat if there had been others available, but that wasn’t an option. “Look pal, you have two choices here, shut up or kiss me.” He figured that would shut his seat-mate up for good.

The stranger’s eyes opened wide in shock before he pulled Jim close and smashed their lips together.  What the hell, _he_ knew how the movie ended, unless Peter Jackson fucked that up too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to Corrie71 for her help with the movie on this one. I have not yet (GASP) seen this movie, however I did read the book!
> 
> No offense to the amazingly talented Peter Jackson... Bones' thoughts do NOT reflect those of the author!


	66. Hulk SMASH

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim and Leonard's deliveries from Amazon get mixed up.

Leonard was running late for work when his doorbell chimed. He wasn’t expecting company and prayed it wasn’t the neighborhood Avon lady. He pulled open the door to see a handsome stranger holding an opened Amazon box.

“Hey, I’m your neighbor, Jim.  Sorry I opened your package, I was expecting one too, maybe you got mine by mistake?”

“Yeah, I did get a box from Amazon today, but was too busy to open it.” He stepped over to the side table and grabbed the box, sure enough it had Jim’s name on it, rather than his own. “Guess they must have mixed up the houses.” Leonard grinned and offered Jim his box.

“I was expecting to see a leather-bound collector’s edition of The Lord Of The Rings, so it was kind of a surprise to see a box full of Avengers coloring books, not that I have anything against Iron Man or the Hulk.” Jim flexed his muscles, “HULK SMASH!”

Leonard laughed at Jim’s imitation of the Hulk. “Well thanks for returning my package, Jim.”

“Sure, anytime. Why did you order a box full of coloring books?”

“I’m a pediatric oncologist and some of my little guys told me all they have in the children’s rec room are princess coloring books, so I ordered these for them.”

Jim’s cheery smile faded a bit. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. He handed his shocked neighbor two crisp twenty dollar bills. “For the crayons.” Jim smiled and turned to go.

“Wait, I can’t just take your money like this, Jim.” Leonard met him half way down the walk.

“It’s for the kids but if you insist on making it up to me, I’m free for dinner tomorrow night and I love Italian.”

Leonard nodded and watched Jim cross the lawn back to his own house. It just so happened he loved Italian food too.

Thank you so much for reading this story. I’ve stopped writing McKirk fanfiction to focus on writing original MM fiction under the pen name Pandora Pine. If you’re interested in my books, you can check them out here: http://www.amazon.com/Pandora-Pine/e/B013BSSBX0/ref=sr_tc_2_0?qid=1465949272&sr=8-2-ent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This drabble idea came to me this afternoon courtesy of Corrie71. We were having a lovely chat on Skype and she told me to hang on, someone was at her door. When she came back, she explained her neighbor had gotten her Amazon package. And that, boys and girls is how a Tribble is born!

**Author's Note:**

> If you like any of these drabbles and would like to see them become a full length fic, let me know!!


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